"Solo: [Barely] a Star Wars Story"


Here's the thing about Star Wars movies.  Whether you love them, hate them, or are anywhere in between (despite Jerry Seinfeld teaching us that "sucks" and "great" are really very close), nobody can say it isn't the most successful franchise ever.  Nobody.  Hate it or no, everybody knows about it, everybody sees it, and everybody contributes money to it in some form or another.  Period.  Frankly, no franchise even comes close.  That said, I can't help but feel that reviewing Star Wars movies is moot.  Whether the reviews reflect that the movie is excellent or complete garbage, it's ticket sales face almost no foreseeable negative consequences.  In other words, yes, I am writing about Solo:  A Star Wars Story; but not because I think it'll make a difference.

After Rogue One and particularly after The Last Jedi, I must say that I have all but given up on the new Star Wars movies.  For being such brilliant franchise, it's a shame that roughly half of the movies just suck.  Regardless, I, of course, had to see Solo opening day.  See what I mean?

It would be an understatement to say that I was less-than-hopeful about Solo.  I even made sure to put in writing that, "if it sucks, I called it."  And you know what?  I wasn't right--but I wasn't completely off-the-mark, either.  Yes, there is an argument to be made that Solo is the best of the "new generation" films, but don't take that and run too far with it.

In many regards, Solo is a fun movie.  The stakes are far lower than the cannoned trilogies, meaning there is far less for the producers to completely botch.  This means that, in many ways, Solo is a stand-alone movie.  The plot was it's own, and had (basically) no tie-ins to any of the other films.  I guess you could say it's just as much a generic sci-fi film as it is a Star Wars one.  It didn't try too hard, and was lighthearted and fun without being overtly child-oriented.  The action scenes are frequent, and enjoyable in many ways.  However, even though they're enjoyable, they're not particularly special.  I felt like I was watching video game cutaways for a couple of hours.  They were still fun, but not particularly smart.  Visually, though, Solo is as good as any in the franchise.

Even though it is not guilty of being presumptuous, it's anything but clean.  The plot seemed to jumble from point-to-point without much establishment or consequence.  I liked that it was entertaining and avoided dry moments, but so much happened so quickly that it became hard to care.  Plot lines that I wanted to be developed and focal were brushed over as quickly as they arrived.  Not only does this make for a plot that becomes bloated, but it flirts with the line of being entertainingly fun and simply unintelligent.  The only plot angle that I cared about was probably the least-focused one.  It's definitely a story for someone who "only cares about being entertained."  

Let's talk dialogue.  To put it bluntly, there wasn't much there.  I can't think of an exchange of dialogue that was anything more than exposition or a nod to fans.  It may be too much to ask for a Star Wars movie to have depth, but I'd like to see a scene with a bit more emotionality than what was given.  Most of the dialogue was so purposefully cheesy that it became exhausting.  That, and the most obvious foreshadowing of all time.  I know that we have to let movies do what movies do, but on more than one occasion I was thinking, "Oh, come on.  Nobody says that."

My biggest issue, though, was that Han was all wrong.  I would have been willing to look past everything if they had gotten that one key point right; but, alas, Alden Ehrenreich missed the mark.  By a fairly significant margin, too.  I understand that you can't compete with Harrison Ford, but anything "Han-like" was utterly absent.  No lines of dialogue or even facial or bodily expressions were anything that the O.G. Han Solo would have said or done.  Frankly, I had completely forgotten Ehrenreich was supposed to be playing Han Solo.  It's not that his overall acting was necessarily poor, (I'd take it or leave it), but he definitely wasn't Han.

On the bright side, though, Emilia Clarke was terrific.  To answer your question, yes, she's Daenerys Targaryen.  If that name means nothing to you, then go home.  She saved every scene she was in, and was by far the most enjoyable character.  I so wish that they would have utilized her more, but the ending was left open for her to become more significant.  If she had been more integral, Solo's quality could have stepped up significantly.  If there is a God, we will have an Emilia Clarke-oriented Star Wars movie.  On that same note, Woody Harrelson did a great job.  His character was kind of a hybrid of his characters in The Hunger Games and War for the Planet of the Apes.  Dang, he's been busy lately.

Unfortunately, however, a lot of characters were completely useless.  Several characters were introduced, but very few were important.  It kind of makes death scenes less significant, doesn't it?

All in all, Solo is a very middle-of-the road Star Wars movie.  It's not one of the best, but there have certainly been worse.  In all honesty, anyone who generally enjoys action movies will get a kick out of it.  And, thankfully, there isn't any reason for die-hard fans to rage quit.

Even though I thought it was good, Solo isn't better than a 65% rating.  This means it doesn't exceed the realm of being worthy of



But I know you'll go to a theater anyway.  

By the way, if you're one of those schmucks that cheers during or after a movie, who raised you?

Also, here's all 10 Star Wars movies, efficiently ranked worst-to-best:

The Phantom Menace
Attack of the Clones
The Last Jedi
Rogue One
Revenge of the Sith
Solo
The Force Awakens
Return of the Jedi
Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back

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